Wednesday 1 May 2013

Poetry.. 'Thick clouds covering the sun,'.


poetry |ˈpōətrē, ˈpōitrē|
noun
literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm; poems collectively or as a genre of literature: he is chiefly famous for his love poetry.

I don't think I have actually learnt poetry in depth before but of course, I've read some since my childhood. Poetry is a great part of the english language and therefore I do recall reading poems several times. And I do feel like I am quite familiar to it, but also pretty strange and unexplored.

Like I am on the top of the mountain, so close to the sun, but there are thick clouds delicately covering it. 

When I think of the word Poetry, what comes to my mind:
1. Shakespeare
2. Romeo and Juliet (yes, Shakespeare takes up 2!)
3. Metaphors, Similes, Personification
4. Rhythm
5. English

I can actually think of nothing when I try to brainstorm but I know, in the back of my head, something is there.

The sun peaks out of the clouds as a tiny ray of light shines through.

So far, with my pathetic amount of knowledge, what I like about poetry:
1. I love how you can meddle around with words and just make it all odd, and it would still be considered poetic and all artsy.
2. It really offers no limits. As mentioned above, both in the writing/english language process itself, but also, emotionally and imaginatively. I feel like people are much less judgmental about poetry than other types of writing (though I do not understand why) and that is probably why there are so many types and topics it covers.

What I do not like:
1. Because there are no limits, sometimes I feel that people write poetry really just for themselves, about something that honestly, only they would understand, something personal, and then expects you to read it. Maybe it is because I haven't fallen into the 'art of analysis' yet but I find these kinds of tasks slightly boring. This does not mean that you should always write poetry for your reader. I disagree with the video that we watched in class. I think that writing can also be an escape for you. When you're sad, happy, lonely, excited, some people just write. And I think poetry is a great form of writing for these purposes, it's just that I'm not sure if it would be as exciting to read as the person who wrote it.

And I definitely think the above section will be much more filled up after this unit of English and I'm very excited for it!

(Are lyrics considered poetry?)

Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten



Natasha Bedingfield wrote this song for her brother. Her brother was the inspiration for these beautiful lyrics and if you think about it, you will realize that all writing is inspired by something. Nobody will randomly start writing, there is always an inspiration, a motivation behind it. And that is what I think the poetic nature of life is. Past experiences, present feelings and future thoughts are like the bricks of a building and words I feel, are like the glue, keeping all the bricks together. Yes, words are important, without strong and rich glue, the building cannot possibly hold in a sturdy manner. But, sturdy or not, a building cannot exist without bricks. And these bricks all come from parts of our lives, like small puzzle pieces.

Can't wait for this unit! Time to let go of factual research and get into creative writing :)

Wednesday 3 April 2013

"Live everyday like it's your last, it won't come back."
- unknown.

I'm not sure who wrote it, but it's a beautiful quote. It's just a quote.  It was just a quote.
That quote was recently the description for my facebook profile picture.
Quite frankly, I just put it there. It's a nice quote and I thought it fit my picture. Nothing special ;)
Sure, I agree with it but, well, our average life expectancy is about 80 years or something and that would be about 23496 days left so I'm guessing I could make up for 1 day in one out of the endless days before I die?

Well, not if you suddenly find out that you only have 2-3 years left.

Please don't panic I'm not going to die.

Yesterday, I arrived back home in Singapore from my refreshing holiday in Bangkok to find my helper freaking out. My dog, Billy, was coughing and choking every few minutes and he honestly looked like he had fever or something. I was scared, but I was okay. I called a cab straight away and we went to the vet. And when we got there, we waited for exactly 3 hours and 12 minutes because they told us we didn't have a 'reservation' even though Billy was HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING.

I think it is necessary to point out that out of these 3 hours and 12 minutes, 1 hour was their lunch time.

And you call yourselves doctors.

When we finally see the doctor, she tells me that Billy has possibility of Heart Failure which is common in Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. But she says that she needs to take an X-Ray and some blood tests to clarify and takes Billy away. Now, I am very scared.

After about 30 minutes, she comes back out saying that Billy's heart is failing and the process is 'fairly advanced'. I am stunned both by the fact that we were at the vet 3 weeks ago and he took the X-Ray then, but they told us that everything was fine and also by her neutral tone of voice and expression. HOW IN THE WORLD.

She tells me that Billy has to start on long term meds right now and that if his condition is well controlled, he can live up to 2-3 years. My heart drops. 2-3 years. That's much shorter than I expected. I doubt whether this is reality. I'm sure it is.

But, it isn't.

Then she looks at me straight in the eye and tells me, "I'm not trying to scare you or anything but I think you should know that if the valves in his heart completely snap from the pressure of his blood, it might cause sudden death. Again, I'm not trying to scare you."

Well, you're an idiot if you think that telling me that my dog might abruptly die one day, won't scare me.

She walks away. Now, I start crying.

And at that moment, I hate everything. I hate the vet for being so useless and not figuring out sooner. I hate Billy for being so unhealthy. But most of all, I hate myself for leaving him to become like this.

But apparently heart conditions cannot get better and the only thing meds can do is delay the process of it stopping one day, so what can we do?

The quote keeps repeating in my head, "Live everyday like it's your last, it won't come back."

I am regretting every single day that I didn't give him a hug or a kiss, every single day I scolded him for ripping up tissue, and just everything else that seems to not be good enough.

There's nothing else I can do now, except give him all the love and affection I can, take lots and lots of photos and make everyday memorable.

So please, whoever reads this, take the quote seriously.

Live everyday like it's your last. Appreciate the things you have, give all the affection you've got to the people you love, do things that you'll look back and smile at. If you do all this, you might not regret. :)

Time flies and the moment it's past, you've lost your grasp in whatever happened then. There isn't a replay button in life, and trust me, you'll desperately wish for one some day. Maybe soon, maybe later but some day you will.

(I sound like an old person but oh well, I've learnt a huge lesson. )


black and white.

my favorite photo of him <3

haha selfies with Billy are the best. <3 he looks bored. :o

Thursday 28 March 2013

What is the What. YAY DONE.

Okay, so finally, 535 pages of What is the What, DONE √

So far, those two sentences, (including the title) make it look like I completely hated the book, which isn't true. It was an interesting read. Also, my first non-fiction book, which turned out to be pretty good!

photos  by me <3 and ofc filters. 

The things I did not enjoy about this book;

1. There are 535 pages and every page is as thin as a page from a bible

2. I noticed that the book was very repetitive and this made it slightly boring at times. Though, I do understand that Valentino Achak Deng was trying is best to deliver the purest of truths without leaving anything out.

But the things that I thought were amazing;

1. The story of Valentino and Dave Eggers itself. 
Before I read this book, I knew absolutely nothing about the Sudanese Civil War and quite frankly, hadn't even heard of it. But now, I know so much, and definitely motivated to know more. The amount of information and the stories he told in this book was just mind-blowing. Some may say it was too much for the reader but I think I enjoyed it and I believe this was because of the fantastic collaboration between the two authors and their fantastic blending and story-telling techniques.



2. I didn't feel like I was being lied to. 
Many said that they felt like this book was just a method of gaining money and publicity and therefore they noticed a lot of exaggeration. I completely disagree. The whole time I was reading this book, it felt as if Valentino was sitting in front of me, telling me a story from his past, simply as my grandmother tells me her own stories. It felt intimate, truthful and it came to the point where I was experiencing his story with him, wishing for a better life in America, being disappointed every hour he was delayed in the hospital.. But I can imagine what a pain it would have been for a reader who thought he was lying the whole time.


I've got to admit, What is the What wasn't one of my favorite books. But that doesn't mean it didn't touch me or I did not enjoy it at all. It is simply that I favor bright and girly books such as Delirium or Twilight or whatever. I am very glad that I came to read it and I thought it was a fantastic choice - not really a choice but - for my FIRST EVER non-fiction book. It taught me lots; what's going on in another part of the world, the kind of life the lost boys go through, different perspectives, unbelievable experiences and more.

And out of all these that the book taught me about, the part that interested the most was the process of these Lost Boys' resettlement in America. As I mentioned before, I came to like Achak Deng so much, when he was let down in America, after all the suffering he experience in Africa, I was so disappointed. In both America and Powder and Tonya and Julian and just, everything. I think the hospital scene was my main motivation for researching about the Resettlement in America. I started wondering, would normal American citizens have to wait for 14 hours in the Emergency Center in America? I wanted to prove to the readers that not everyone succeeded like Moses, some were still helpless and simply lost.
Therefore, for my feature article, I am writing about the Lost Boys in America but my goal is to expose the readers to another perspective, another side of the die - that not all the boys have found their way in America. Some of them still don't have education, are striving for another day and that they are still empty and lost.


Would I recommend this to the next batch of grade 8s?
hmm... I'm not sure.
I'd definitely recommend this project itself. I think writing a feature article is an amazing way of writing to explore. Gosh, what's with all the boring grammar textbooks and workbooks, OFS? I love of UWC always goes deeper into everything - and in this case, we're bringing 'writing' into a whole new level, striving to deliver the truth.
But I'm not sure if I would recommend What is the What, the main reason being that it is too long. After about half way through the novel, after I set my topic, it felt useless to read through so much of the book that had nothing to do with what interested me (especially if it was repeated omg) and at points, very frustrating. But I love this unit itself, exploring the truth and the responsibilities we have for  the stories we tell.
Good luck grade 7's :) (next year's 8s)

if there is one.



Yay for long reflections :P


Friday 22 March 2013

Today at lunch, as everyone probably knows, there was the HS Hair for Hope event going on. I was very surprised of the amount of support everyone gave for this event and really made me think that UWC is a community where everyone understands and embraces each other.

Shaving your hair is not a small thing. It's huge. Especially for a girl, it's something that has grown a huge part of you that never goes away, grows longer and longer every year, and something that you give an extreme amount of care to. To cut it shave it all off for a matter that isn't even directly related to her, it was amazing. And honestly, it was all done in an instant - a moment, the girl stepped up the stage with enthusiastic cheers and the next, all her hair, every strand, simply dropped to the ground and it wasn't there anymore. I can't even imagine the amount of courage it takes to decide that you will sacrifice a part of you (because technically, your hair is a part of your body) for someone you haven't even met and to not wuss out in the end - it's incredible.

I know myself and I wouldn't be able to do such a thing. First, it would be the fear that takes over me, the worries, the doubts, and even if I do make it up the stage without running away, I know that I'd probably regret it even after it's done. I would try to flick or tie my hair and realize it's not there - my head bare, it would probably make me insecure. Again, I'd like to applaud the people today that were brave enough to overcome all of this.

Today, it hit me, that I really need to improve. To really fight for something - and it doesn't simply have to be about cancer or charity. Simply to have to the determination to be brave, sometimes sacrifice, and let go a part of you to gain something more, which in this case, was the proudness and happiness of giving someone hope.

Watching these girls today was an astonishing experience and my respect for them is indescribable. And I am proud to say the next year, although I won't be shaving my hair, I am willing to sponsor whoever is. Of course, I can't guarantee a large sum of money but it will all be from my savings and my  sincere respect. Thank you, to both UWCSEA and everyone who showed me such courage today. <3

ps. I hope this post did not sound sexist or anything. I just understood the girls' perspective better and that was what really touched me today. Considering that I don't even know any of these people, I've been a real creeper talking so much about them haha. :P



I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time

Know there was something that 

Meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world, 
I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, 
So they won't forget

I was here... 
I lived, I loved
I was here... 
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here... 

I want to say I lived each day, 
Until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, 
Will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference
And this world will see

I was here... 
I lived, I loved
I was here... 
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here... 
I lived, I loved
I was here... 
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here... 

I just want them to know
That I gave my all, 
Did my best
Brought someone some happiness
Left this world a little better just because... 
I was here... 

I was here... 
I lived, I loved
I was here... 
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here... 

(I lived, I loved)
(I did, I've done)
(I lived, I loved) 
(I did, I've done)
I was here...

- I was here, Beyonce


Monday 25 February 2013

They deserve another chance.

What is the What is something completely different from what I have read before. Unlike the usual adventure, mystery, romance books that I always stick to, the fact that this novel is based on a person's actual experience, makes it so much more deep, and at times, harder to read. I find myself cringing over gory sentences, I keep coming back to the same sentence - this boy, Achak, has gone through all of this. It echoes through my head as I read each and every word and this, is possibly what makes me slightly uncomfortable when reading it.

For me, personally, what really captivates me is the story of the Lost Boys, not the story of Dave Eggers. At times, I must admit, What is the What gets boring, but this does not mean my interest for the story has died out, just the specific part of detail that I'm reading through. Progressing through the story,  I feel that I have followed Achak on his long journey. Of course, It is not possible for me to experience the pains and suffering as he had and I dare not say that I 'understand' him or any of the Lost Boys. But I honestly can say that when they reached Ethiopia and found nothing, my heart dropped and when I read about the life in America that were not even close to expectations (both their's and mine), I was frustrated.

And at this point of the story, where he is in the hospital and describing the treatment he is getting in America, the topic of resettlement in America of the Lost Boys interests me. I want to know exactly what they were imagining of the large, western, unknown country in Kakuma, how the reality is different from their expectations, - "We are pathetic, I decide. He is still working in a furniture store, and I am attending three remedial classes at a community college. Are we the future of Sudan? This seems unlikely." - Valentino Achak Deng - if there is any difference in the treatment they receive in America, and simply the whole process of settling in. What are the pros and cons they feel about the resettlement and if they really feel that it has changed their lives, given them hope. Because after their long, seemingly endless journey of suffering, I believe that they really do deserve a second chance, a chance to have a fresh start.


Sunday 24 February 2013

A place to get away..

All becomes bright and blurry and I am simply lost. It's funny because at the same time, everything's just so loud and I am struggling to find calm.  I need to get out, break these solid walls around me. 

Everyone has these moments. It's just a part of a seemingly endless string called life. When everything happens all at once, when you're rushed with so many events at the same time, you get confused. I think it's completely natural. And this period of doubt will pass, nothing lasts forever, right? Tomorrow is another day and you never know when a twist will sneak up beside you. But it's just how to make this time pass faster that matters.

Everyone needs to place to take a break. Step into their own little secret chamber and get away from everything outside. It's another world there. It's probably different for everyone, maybe running, singing, playing an instrument. People's comfort zones cannot possibly be the same. But for me, there's two methods; 1. listening to music, turning up the volume and just getting lost in it. 2. Looking at comedy shows and just laughing my butt off.
I must admit, I am a simple person. Very mainstream. I don't need anything intimate or artistic to make me relax, just ridiculous comedians. But that doesn't matter does it? It's not something you present to others, just to yourself. It's all about what makes you feel comfortable and loosen your strings.

Always remember, don't force yourself to go any further. If you've reached your limit, take a rest - no one's timing you. Just like during PE, after a bit of running, we're told to pause and have a drink break right? Because other wise you'll get dehydrated and possible faint. I believe it's just the same. Find your secret chamber. <3


Tuesday 5 February 2013

Taking each step.

Today, last lesson, we did Rock Climbing during PE. We had just moved on from Touch Rugby to a new unit and I was so glad because Touch just was not for me.
I was also really excited because Rock Climbing is one of the sports that I've never done before, it seemed all professional and yet it seemed really simple and easy. But boy, was I wrong. It is definitely not simple, nor is it easy, but it takes all the strength and concentration that you've got at that moment, taking each step.

During today's session, we had a group task competition. The class were split into two groups, and it was which group had all their team members to go across the wall first.

I was third in line to start climbing. At first, I took light gentle steps, and it was actually pretty straightforward. I took my time, looking for right rocks to step on, gently placing my foot on it, and if it didn't seem right, quickly taking it off. But within around 2 meters of the wall, I faced my challenge. The round wall stuck out abruptly, and I was stuck. I tried placing my weight on every rock that was near me. But none helped me move on. When I attempted to go up, my teammates screamed no, that it wouldn't work, and when I tried scooping down, my hands started slipping. I took a big gulp of my own saliva pooling in my mouth, as my nerves took over me. Finally, at the end of a long struggle in trying to find a suitable path, my arms ran out of strength, I lost focus, and my fingers slipped out, gravity pulling my body to the ground. I landed helplessly and walked back to the end of the line.

Rock Climbing. 

Even after several attempts, I seemed to slip down on the same spot. No matter how much a planned out my route while waiting in line, once I actually climbed up the wall, I came back to the same red and green rocks, desperately hanging on to them while frantically looking around take another step.

People say 'Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. " , "Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. "
And I do agree with it partially, but I cannot say that I believe that it is all true. 
I guess, over the several attempts, I got more time to look back on all the wrong steps I took, what tactics might work better. I've got to remember, 'Practice makes perfect', right? And so, I do agree with some parts of these common quotes. 
But everyone talks like failure is the exact key to success. Is it really?
Failure does teach you many things on the way - while you're taking it slow. But it also puts you in a lot of pressure. As I felt everyone's eyes on me, hoping for an outcome, my anxiety grew stronger, sweat growing in my palms. Every time my foot slipped and I fell to the ground, my frustration swelled, breaking my concentration. Pressure is a distraction to reaching your goals. It breaks your focus, makes you sloppy. 

Find your focus. 
I learnt today, that unless you properly take advantage of it, failure is useless. When you fall, slip before reaching success, don't think, 'It's okay, failure leads to success, maybe next time' to make yourself feel better. Be sad, be disappointed, be emotional. And use your burst of emotions to motivate you, propel you to your goals. Learn to make use of the pressure and frustration around you against yourself, driving you faster, improving your concentration.

Then your path will be more focused and every step will be clearer, stronger.